Hard to Swallow
by theoofoof
Summary: Barba swallows a flash drive that is important to a case Benson is working. Crack!fic


**A/N: **My response to the Rafioli (Barson) Crack Fic Exchange. Try not to look too closely at the plot - it's called crack!fic for a reason, although this one does get fluffy at the end.

* * *

Olivia's brow furrowed as she opened the top cupboard to where she was sure she put the box of muffins she'd baked. She couldn't see them. She moved a few things around, but they definitely weren't there. She opened the two cupboards either side, but they weren't in there either. She had been looking forward to one of them all day and she felt a pang of disappointment run through her when she couldn't find them. Swiftly followed by a sense of panic as she recalled the events of the previous day.

"Erm, Rafa….?

"Hmm?" he replied, not looking up from his legal pad.

"Do you know what happened to the muffins that were in the cupboard?"

"The chocolate chip ones? I ate them."

They'd been together for just over five months; their friendship having naturally evolved into something more that past summer. They'd disclosed to the DA's office and 1PP immediately, not wanting to jeopardise any cases and told those closest to them – Lucia, the squad and Rita – shortly after. Noah and Lucy were the only other people who knew officially, as they tried to keep their relationship out of the office as much as possible.

They weren't living together, but he spent several nights a week at her place and had space in her closet and dresser as well as a toothbrush and razor in the bathroom. She had gifted him a key – which came in useful for nights like tonight when she needed someone to relieve Lucy. Her nanny had a date tonight, so Rafael had come over to allow her to leave at a reasonable hour. When her detective had arrived to pick Noah up for his sleepover with Jesse, she'd informed him that Dodds had caught Olivia on her way out and, from the snippets of conversation that Amanda caught before Olivia's office door closed, it sounded like it was going to be a long meeting. Rafael had gotten peckish waiting for Liv so he went rooting for snacks and, when he found the delicious-looking muffins, he just couldn't resist.

"You did what?"

"I ate them." He looked up at her. "Why? Shit, were they for Noah?" Guilt crept onto his face. "I'll go out in the morning and buy him some more."

"I didn't buy them. Lucy and Noah baked them. But that's not the problem." She rubbed a hand over her face. "Please tell me you're joking. Please tell me you didn't eat them."

"I…" He took in her ashen expression. "Why?"

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God."

She began pacing which didn't help the feeling of unease that had taken up residence in Rafael's stomach. He stood, blocking her path and halting her by grabbing her upper arms.

"Liv, you're scaring me."

"Sorry, I… I'm just trying to work out what to do."

He shook her gently to refocus her. "Liv! What was wrong with the muffins."

"Well, you know the flash drive that Detective Myers gave me? The one about possible police corruption?"

"Yeah…" How could he forget? In his humble opinion, the man was a nut-job. The way he'd burst into Olivia's office while the two of them were discussing the case he was bringing to trial next week told him the man needed psychiatric help, but Olivia seemed to believe him. He'd rambled almost incoherently for several minutes before thrusting a micro flash drive into Olivia's hand and, after impressing upon her the importance of keeping its contents out of the hands of those in power, had turned on his heel and left.

"Well, I couldn't leave it in my office, just in case, so I brought it home. And I needed somewhere to hide it. Somewhere no one would think to look. So…"

Rafael's eyes widened as he began to comprehend. "You didn't?"

Olivia worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "I did."

"Wait, you're telling me I've swallowed the corruption flash drive?"

She nodded slowly, recalling the events of the previous day.

As she'd been gathering her things to leave the office the night before, she'd caught sight of the flash drive in her desk drawer and, with Myers' words ringing in her ears, she had slipped it into her bag to keep it from those with the means and opportunity to access her office. Olivia couldn't deny that Myers' had seemed a little paranoid, but she'd looked into him after he'd left, and she found no red flags. He'd been with the 2-3 for over two years and had a clean personnel jacket. Besides, she'd worked with Munch long enough to appreciate that sometimes, a little paranoia was warranted.

The knowledge that she was carrying such sensitive information weighed heavily on her mind as she had driven home and as soon as she'd entered her apartment and greeted Noah with a hug, she looked for somewhere to conceal it.

She didn't really want it in her apartment; didn't really want it at all if she was honest, but she had it now, so she had to deal with it. When her eyes had fallen on the freshly baked muffins Lucy and Noah had made that afternoon, an idea had formed. She'd carefully cut out a piece from the bottom of the muffin, inserted the flash drive and then replaced the removed sponge. Then she had split the muffins into three batches – one for Noah to take to school, one for the squad room and one for home. She'd put some of theirs on plates for a late-night treat and the rest in a plastic container on a high shelf in the cupboard, ensuring the tainted muffin was buried at the bottom.

She hadn't managed to tell Rafael about it, she'd forgotten last night and by the time she'd been reminded by seeing the box in the cupboard this morning, he'd already left for an early morning meeting with the District Attorney.

"Who the hell hides a flash drive in a muffin?!" Rafael asked incredulously. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and began typing furiously as he now paced the length of the couch.

"Well, if you didn't inhale your food, maybe you'd have realised you'd swallowed it?!" she retorted.

He looked up from his phone briefly, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I was hungry," he muttered under his breath, before returning his attention to his screen.

"What are you doing?"

"Googling. Oh, here's an article on 'Swallowed Object Treatment' from WebMD."

Olivia wasn't sure about him self-diagnosing using the internet, but at least WebMD was a fairly reliable source. Hopefully, it would tell him he needed to go to the hospital. "What does it say?"

"Most swallowed objects travel through the digestive tract and leave the body without causing problems." His eyes scanned the page. "The object should pass through the patient's digestive tract within 24 to 48 hours."

Not quite believing him, Olivia plucked the phone from his hand to see for herself. When she reached the second paragraph, she rolled her eyes. "It also says, see a doctor immediately if the person has swallowed something sharp or metal."

Thank goodness Noah was at Amanda's – at least they wouldn't have to drag him out of bed to spend the night in the ER. She toed on her shoes and yanked her jacket from its hook. She was almost at the door before she realised Rafael wasn't following her. She turned back to find him sitting on the couch, his attention back on his trial notes as if nothing was amiss.

Her eyes widened at the sight. "Rafa!"

"I am not going to the Emergency Room and explaining what happened to some doctor who's barely out of diapers."

"It could cause serious damage," Olivia argued, crossing the room to stand in front of him. She took his hand and tried to pull him up from the couch. "Please Rafa, let's go."

But he resolutely refused to move. "No."

She tried a different tack. "What about the corruption case? Goodness knows what your stomach acid will do to that flash drive. As far as I'm aware, that's the only place that evidence exists."

"It'll be fine, Liv. Those things are pretty resilient these days." He put his pen down and stared at her. "I am not going to the hospital and that's final."

"You are the most stubborn, infuriating man I have ever met."

He sighed, knowing that Olivia would not let this go. He decided to do what he did best; negotiate a deal. "How about this? If I start exhibiting any of the symptoms described in the article, we'll go. I promise."

"Fine," she huffed. "But I reserve the right to say, 'I told you so'."

* * *

Olivia was stirred from sleep by a small groan beside her. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 2:13 am. Another, slightly louder, groan from beside her grabbed her attention and she shifted in bed, turning towards Rafael.

"Rafa?"

"I don't feel so good, Liv. My stomach hurts and I've been sick. I think…" he winced in pain, "I think… maybe I do need to go to the hospital."

She sat up and the stench of vomit reached her nose and she was thankful she'd thought to leave a bowl at the side of the bed before they went to sleep, despite Rafael's insistence that it wasn't necessary. Switching on the light, she took one look at him, almost bent double in pain, and reached for her cell phone.

"I'm calling 911."

"No!" he reached for the phone, but she held it out of his reach. "Please, Liv!"

The last thing he wanted was for the neighbours to see him being carted away in an ambulance. No, the fewer people who knew what had happened the better.

"I'll go to the ER. I won't even fuss or grumble. But no ambulance, please."

Olivia reluctantly agreed, at least he was now admitting he needed medical attention and was willing to go to the hospital. If he began to deteriorate along the way, well, what was the use in having a car equipped with red and blue lights if you couldn't use them?

She dressed quickly, before helping him into some sweats, a loose-fitting t-shirt and sneakers. She threw his coat over her shoulder as they made their way down to the parking garage, him leaning heavily on her, and then tucked it around him after gently lowering him into the passenger seat. She rushed around the car and slid in behind the wheel, tyres squealing as she pulled out of her designated parking spot.

The early morning hour meant the traffic was light, so Olivia didn't feel the need to use her emergency lights. They made it to Mount Sinai in less than thirty minutes and, while Rafael was still in pain, he didn't seem to have deteriorated too much.

While they had been lucky with the traffic, they were less fortunate with the ER. The waiting room was streaming with patients as Olivia got Rafael booked in. Luckily, there were no major traumas that night so, given the severity of his pain and the vomiting, he was seen rather promptly.

After an examination, which involved being scanned with a portable metal detector similar to the ones used by TSA Agents, he was prescribed IV Fentanyl to try to ease the pain and was sent for an x-ray to determine the exact position of the flash drive. Once that was completed, he was returned to a cubicle in the treatment area to await the doctor's diagnosis and treatment plan.

He was just wondering how much longer it was going to be when a soft, "Hmm," broke into his thoughts. He lifted his head from his phone at Olivia's wordless utterance. "Something interesting?"

She, too, was looking at her phone. While he was killing time checking and responding to work emails, she was researching his condition and possible treatments. "It seems your predicament isn't as unusual as the attending made out."

Rafael screwed up his face at the mention of the doctor who had examined him. He had done a poor job of concealing his amusement as he was told what happened and even made a joke about hoping Rafael didn't catch any viruses from the flash drive. Needless to say, the man did not endear himself to Rafael.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the reason we're still waiting for him to come back is that he's not been able to stop laughing. Either that or he's ringing all his friends to tell them."

Olivia couldn't help but tease him. "Maybe he's tweeting about it?"

Rafael narrowed his eyes. "Don't even joke. What were you saying about me not being the only idiot to do this to themselves?"

"I don't recall phrasing it quite like that, but…" She held up her phone so he could see the headline of the story she'd stumbled across.

_SUSPECT WHO SWALLOWED FLASH DRIVE CHARGED WITH OBSTRUCTION_

His eyes flit over the screen as he skimmed the first paragraph detailing how the man, who had been suspected of skimming data from ATMs, swallowed a device to conceal evidence.

"Yeah, because that makes me feel so much better," he drawled.

Olivia rolled her eyes, but her response died on her lips as there was a knock on the screen door and Rafael's doctor returned.

"Mr Barba, I have your test results." He pulled up the x-rays on his tablet, pointing to the bright white square in the middle as he spoke. "The object is embedded in the wall of your oesophagus and is partially blocking your lower oesophageal sphincter – the ring of muscle at the entrance of your stomach – that's what's causing the pain. Given the size and shape of the object, I'm recommending surgical removal using a procedure called a rigid esophagoscopy."

Rafael glanced nervously at Olivia, before returning his attention to the doctor. "Surgery? Is that really necessary?"

"I'm afraid so. Given the size and shape of the object, it's unlikely to pass through on its own and the sharp edges could perforate the oesophagus which would require more extensive surgery."

Olivia placed a reassuring hand on Rafael's arm. "What exactly does the procedure involve?" she asked.

"The procedure is carried out under general anaesthetic and involves inserting a tube down the oesophagus. Once the tube is in place, we'll then pass some instruments through the tube to dislodge and grasp the object, allowing us to pull it out."

Olivia nodded. "And when will you be able to perform the surgery?"

"You need to have been nil-by-mouth for at least eight hours before we can administer the anaesthesia. When did you last eat, Mr Barba?"

He rolled his eyes, barely resisting the urge to yell that it had been when he swallowed the damn flash drive. Instead, he mumbled, "About seven-thirty."

The doctor looked at his watch and nodded. "By the time you've filled in all the paperwork and a slot has become available in the OR, we should have more than cleared the time frame. How's the pain?"

"Bearable."

"Okay, well I'll leave you two to discuss this and have a nurse come back with consent forms. The anaesthetist will pop in to talk to you and then I'll come back and let you know what time we'll be taking you up to surgery."

Rafael nodded. "Thank you, doctor."

* * *

Ninety minutes later, Rafael was ready for the OR. Once the nurses finished their final checks, Rafael asked them for a moment before they took him down. He patted the edge of the bed, beckoning Liv over. She sat and ran her hand through this hair.

"Listen Liv," he stilled her movements, taking his hand in hers. He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. "If I don't make it… I…"

"Rafa." She shook her head slightly but couldn't stop the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes at the thoughts of the worst-case scenario. Swallowing thickly, she reigned in her emotions. "You heard the surgeon. It's a routine procedure. You'll be back in here in a couple of hours and home before Amanda drops Noah off this evening."

"Rationally, I know that, but there's a part of me whispering that it's still surgery and there are still risks and there's something I need to say… just in case." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "So, just listen please."

Silently, she nodded her acquiescence. She had a feeling she knew what he was going to say, and she was ready – more than ready, if she was being honest with herself – to hear it.

"I've been… nervous to say it to you – not wanting to move too quickly or put you in a position where you felt you had to say it back and, this is definitely not how I imagined saying it, but I need you to know…" He took a breath and met her gaze lovingly. "I love you, Liv."

Even though she'd been expecting it; she was still affected by hearing those three little words fall from his lips with such sincerity. Like him, Olivia had been hesitant to voice her feelings, but she definitely reciprocated them. The words had been there, dancing in her mind, just on the tip of her tongue for weeks. She just couldn't bring herself to form them. She would like to say that it was a matter of timing. Of not being able to find the right moment. But, in all honesty, these were words that she should have already said instead of hiding behind her insecurities.

"As I said," Rafael continued, worried by her lack of response, "I don't expect you to say it back. I understand you might not be rea–"

She cut him off with a kiss. "Stop talking, counsellor," she said with a smile as she pulled away. "I love you too."

"Yeah?"

"Of course I do. I– "

The door to his cubicle opened, interrupting her. "Mr Barba? We need to move you now."

He lifted Olivia's hand to his mouth and ghosted his lips across her fingers. "I love you," he repeated.

"I love you too. I'll see you soon, okay?"

He nodded and Olivia watched as he was wheeled out of the room.

* * *

She had been warned that the surgery could take a couple of hours and that Rafael would be put on another ward for observation immediately afterwards. It was for that reason that she began to gather his personal belongings. She moved around the empty, silent cubicle slowly. The monotonous task kept her mind occupied and allowed her to get her emotions under control again.

She knew it was ridiculous, but she seemed to have caught Rafael's nerves. She couldn't stop the anxious flutter of her stomach or the way her eyes misted over when she thought of Rafael on the operating table. They may have declared their feelings but there was so much else she felt she needed to say. And beneath it all, she knew there was no-one else to blame but herself. She should have said these things before. It was a hard fact to swallow, but she should have given voice to all of the things that were on her mind and in her heart.

Rationally, she knew that there would be time for those discussions. That most likely, as she had told Rafael, he would be home before the day was out. But their last-minute declaration had set her on edge. She wanted to believe that everything would work out. She wanted to hold on to her faith that Rafael's surgery would go well and that he would come back to her and Noah. That they would continue moving forward with their relationship. But the simple truth was, they could never know what was going to happen. They could never know what the future would bring, especially considering her line of work. It was completely unwritten. There were no guarantees. No one could say if tomorrow would come.

Olivia to force back another surge of tears as she packed up the few personal items that Rafael had brought with him to the hospital. She folded his clothes and added them to the bag along with his shoes before picking up his watch, his Abuelo's crucifix – which he always wore on a gold chain around his neck – his phone, keys and wallet. As she fingered his wallet, a folded slip of paper fell out of it and fluttered to the floor. She bent and retrieved the paper, which had fallen open and drew a shaky breath as she realised what she was looking at. It was a picture, drawn by Noah.

It showed three crudely crayoned people – a man, woman and little boy - stood by a playground comprising of swings, a slide and a sandpit. Each person was named above their heads in Noah's familiar, childish penmanship:

_Momma. Uncle Rafa. Me._

But it was the words that her son had written at the top of the page that caused her to draw her bottom lip between her teeth and exhale a quiet breath.

_My Family_

Her hands began to tremble. Her vision blurred. Her jaw clenched against the sudden onslaught of emotion at what her son had drawn and the fact that Rafael had kept it in his wallet. She couldn't say when her son gifted Rafael this picture, but the edges and folds were worn; Rafael had clearly taken it out and looked at it a few times since.

She could just picture him, sitting in his office after a hard day in court, or a verdict not going his way, and fishing Noah's picture out of his wallet, the childish drawing bringing a smile to his face.

God, she loved that man!

He took the fact that she had a young son in his stride and he never complained when Noah's needs interrupted their plans or their evenings together. He played with him, read to him and watched endless episodes of Paw Patrol with him. He was patient too; Noah was at an age where he was asking a lot of questions – the most common one being 'why?' – but Rafael was never short with him, he just answered whatever he asked.

He had become, as Noah's picture portrayed, part of their family. He had slotted in so easily and without issue, that it hadn't really occurred to her how momentous that was.

Olivia closed her eyes and clutched the picture tightly against her chest. There was such an ache there. Her stomach churned with anxiety. If something did happen, what would they do without him? She tried to imagine a single day without him, and she simply could not. The very thought of it filled her with such pain that drawing her next breath was almost impossible. It came, ragged though it was. It filled her lungs and she let it out slowly.

She realised with startling clarity that the family they had started to build, was what she wished for the future. She wanted him there every day. She wanted shared utilities and living space. She wanted them to still be squabbling at 85; to watch Noah graduate and go off to college, get married and have children of his own.

Olivia drew another slow breath and let it cleanse through her. Then she refolded the picture and placed it back in its hiding spot inside his wallet. When he came out of surgery, she would tell him how she felt, and they would discuss it… along with so much more. Oddly enough, the thought filled her with a renewed sense of hope. Everything was going to work out. Tomorrow may be fleeting, but she would not lose him today. They were only just beginning.


End file.
